Marriage Quotes

What is a marriage if not an opportunity to mock someone through thick and thin while simultaneously exploring your deepest, darkest sexual desires?

MARCY RUNKLE, Californication, "Girls, Interrupted" (2007)

Marriage is more than just finding a man that you like the looks of or that you don't mind being touched by. Marriage is for a mighty long time and unless you figure it that way, there's no sense in going into it to begin with. Marriage calls for a lot of thought.

CHEYENNE BODIE, Cheyenne, "The Angry Sky" (1958)

What do you think engagement rings are? Just proof that a man can pay for his bride... Marriage is not romance. It's a contract with the state. It's an investment in your future. I'm not making it about money, it just is.

CHLOE DANIELS, C.S.I.:Crime Scene Investigation, "Nesting Dolls" (2005)

A marriage is like a salad: the man has to know how to keep his tomatoes on the top.

J.R. EWING, Dallas (1978)

Marriage is like these bonbons. You never know what you're getting until you're right in the middle of it.

SUSAN MAYER, Desperate Housewives, "What Would We Do Without You?" (2007)

You want to know the advantages of marriage? Fine... There's... Uh... OK! Here! Got it! You know when you fall asleep and you stop breathing? When you're married, there's always somebody there to nudge you back to life.

RAY BARONE, Everybody Loves Raymond, "The Lone Barone" (1998)

Marriage is a very complicated machine. When it breaks down, you can't fix it with one screw.

YVONNE, Goodnight Sweetheart, "Just One More Chance" (1995)

We're talking about marriage, it's a bottomless well. True "south" doesn't exist when it comes to marriage.

TOMMY GAVIN, Rescue Me, "Jump" (2009)

It is like going into partnership with somebody. It's like opening a store. If business is bad, you close the store.

GOLUBKA, Comrade X (1940)

Ain't much difference between kidnapping and marriage. You get snatched from your parents. But in marriage, nobody offers a reward.

POP TOLLIVER, The Bride Came C.O.D. (1941)

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